Sunday, October 30, 2011

Our little "F-U" to Bee of A-Holes by Jager Lockheed

We divorced Bank of America today, the little red and white ATM cards are in pieces in the recyling bin. We, as thousands of others have, joined a credit union. ours is Lockheed Federal Credit Union. LFCU is handy, our branch is in Westlake Village. (Right next to the most expensive grocery store in the known universe, Gelson's!)

Interestingly, we had to register for an appointment to make the change to LFCU, they were that damn busy! I've read the switch from the "to big to fail" banks to community banks and credit unions is a massive movement nationwide, so we aint alone, buckaroo. Boeing Federal C U in Seattle reported an 820% increase in new accounts last week alone. If the crowd at Lockheed today was any indication, this is a big deal.

We've been thinking of switching, but when it was announced last week that B of A had transfered their toxic assets from an uninsured part of the company to a Federally Insured division, that was it for The Cakes and I.

The change took 20 minutes, checking, savings, Visa and car loan all switched and done. We left just enough money in B of A to cover the bills we pay on line, we'll pay them on the first, switch them over to Lockheed and then we are finished with the Bee of A-holes.

Mark us as "Contented Customers"

Friday, October 28, 2011

"Our Sources Say" by Jager Lee Bain

Clear Channel is discussing the following scenarios with their in house legal staff:

1. Sending a "cease and desist" letter with threat of lawsuit to all broadcasters, manufacturers, Internet platforms and satellite operators from using the word "radio" in any activity up to and including sales presentations, correspondence, internal communications, logos and any and all usage of what had been, at one time, considered a generic name for terrestial and satellite electronic communication.

2. A similar letter will be sent to Howard Stern demanding he cease using the term "King of All Media" as that term will be, in the future, used by Clear Channel to designate the chief executive position at CC.

3. A petition to the FCC to redefine "radio" in the current FCC statutes to "audio only devices operated by corporations other than Clear Channel". CC is also requesting that the FCC and other agencies allow licensing by CC to other broadcasters and other interested groups to use the term "radio" by paying a yearly licensing fee to CC for its usage. Our sources say the FCC petition was accompanied by a copy of a 4.9 million dollar check to the US Chamber of Commerce to be used (under the Citizens United rule) to back political candidates who will see things the CC way.

Our sources also said NPR has already changed their name to "National Public Audio Only Device" to deflect any further conservative criticism. NPAOD acted based solely on the rumored actions of Clear Channel.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Boy Racer once again!!! by Jager Schumacher

I was getting my wife's car washed on Sunday morning. I pulled in and right behind me in line was a '69 Camaro. Orange, white hood stripe and it sounded like it was loaded. The guys took my car and I walked back and told the guy he had a very nice Camaro...he filled me in while our cars were being cleaned, 350 V8, aluminum heads, headers, roller cam, hot ignition, modified GM 400 transmission, said it dynoed out at 530 hp. I'm thinking he might be full of shit, but it sounded good, both his story and the car. He added he had 55 grand in it.
I suggested that I'd love to see and hear it run and why don't we leave together and hop on 101, I'd follow him and he could let me hear the V8 symphony. When the cars were finished, I bought a couple of bottles of water, handed him one and followed him out of the car wash and onto the Freeway entrance to 101. He canned the Camaro hard and took off with his back wheels spinning, I shifted The Cakes's car back into first and hit it at about 2500 rpm and stayed right on his ass, in fact when I shifted to 2nd I had to back off abit, we were quickly up on 101 and he crossed over to the left lane at about 75mph and hit it again. I was still in 2nd at at 4300 and shifted to 3rd at 7,000 still on his tail. I shifted into 4th at 7,000 and right at 110 mph I pulled past him on the right, ran it to 7,000 again and with him in my mirrors I shut it down at at about 130. Its just amazing what a Mercedes Benz C-43 AMG can do with 131,000 miles on it!
We pulled off on Westlake Blvd and into the shopping center, shook hands and laughed about what two old bastards had just done in past couple of minutes on 101. I told him to get his money back from the dyno guy, he said he was going to talk to the engine builder first!
I got back in the old Benz and realized I had left the AC on. I would have never done that when i was street racing as a boy.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Monday Sports Notes:
Did Tebow actually win in Miami or did the ‘Fins throw the
game to stay in the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes?
Woof, we are getting a good World Series out of the Rangers-Cards!
The Colts are disgusting…are they in the “Suck for Luck”
Sweepstakes, too?
Carson Palmer looked like he got off the couch, suited up
and went in the game, actually, that’s what he did. Looks like he’s filled out
a little in the past nine months, doesn’t he?
We should have a ‘Luck Bowl” in between the playoffs and the
Super Bowl. The AFC team and the NFC team with the worst records play for the 1st
pick in the draft….winner gets the pick!
Watching HBO’s 24/7…Manny is one intense little dude. Best
line so far…Freddie Roach brought in a strength coach, his only advice, ‘Don’t
slow him down”. The one hand balancing on an exercise ball looks like a pure
bitch to do, that and the pushups on a weight bar set on the bar of a barbell.
Anybody miss the NBA? What, crickets?

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Easy Target

efforts to cut Military and Veterans benefits are gathering momentum in Congress:
Determined to avoid spending reductions that would hit troop numbers, aircraft, ships and weapons, Levin, McCain and other lawmakers are urging budget-cutters to scrutinize the military entitlement programs.
So rather than cutting weapon system procurement or raising taxes on the rich, they are zeroing in on benefits. This is bipartisanship at its absolute worst
The military retirement program is really simple: Stay in 20 years, you retire with 50% of your highest acheived rank pay, stay 30, you get 75%. The program is the same across all branches and all ranks.

If you retire as an E-7 (Sgt First Class) at 20 years, your retirement is $2100 a month and they want to cut that hefty amount? That's bullshit, after a person has spent the best years of their lives working long hours, spending many of these years "down range". Moving from post to post, etc.

The trade off I've seen is one could get a partial retirement after 6-8 years in the service. A few hundred a month. For years the motivation has been "what the hell, I've been in 8 years, may as well stay another 12 and get my retirement."

Call your congressman and senators, today. Be nice but firm.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Award Time by Comrade Jager

I just got my "Lifetime Acheivement Award" from Kimberly-Clark

Off the Grid by Comrade Jager

We found this yurt on VRBO (vacation rentals by owners)

Think about this, we watched the sunset on the deck, ice clinking in our glasses, VanMorrison on the audio system, 26 miles from the nearest power pole. Solar electric, instant hot water, gas stove and fridge and when the sun went down, not a hint of light, anywhere.

The Yurt was one big round room, 30 ft in diameter, the shower and toilet (composting) are located on the deck a step or two from the back door-if a Yurt has a back? We had 4 days of heaven. We had a karioke (sp) but, no matter how much wine I poured down Jan she refused to sing ABBA's "Dancing Queen"!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Feminine Hygene Products by Comrade Jager

When I was a kid my Mom would give me a note for the clerk at the grocery store. I'd hand it to him, get my 12 ounce Pepsi. In a few minutes he would he would be back with a box wrapped in plain brown paper, I'd hand him the money, finish my Pepsi, put the box under my arm and pedal home on my bike.
If I saw anybody I knew or didn't know, they would yell shit at me, like, "hey your mama's on the rag", "somebody's riding the cotton pony" or "there goes the Kotex Kid".

All that started when I was 8. I now have decades of experience in handling and transporting feminine hygene products. From those early years of trying to smuggle a large boxes of Modess through enemy lines with adolescent terrorists on my tail to being awakened at 3 in the morning with, "Honey, I hate to ask you this, but could you run and get me some Tampax at the drugstore?"

I had two daughters and a wife operating on menstrual cycles that were just far enough apart that I was constantly on the road buying supplies. The three of them along with a female dog and cat had me out numbered and I was swimming in a sea of estrogen.

I've purchased untold thousands of dollars worth of sanitary products over the years, I've been in line, boxes of tampons and panty liners in my hands in food stores, drug stores, country markets, national and state parks, marinas, convenience stores and gas stations. I've even purchased Tampax from a vending machine at a hotel (it was next to the tooth paste and just below the Mr. Goodbar) once again roused from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to make the buy.

I've pretty much solved the problem since joining Costco, I buy Tampax by the case, a huge carton filled with more cartons and inside those cartons are the individual boxes. One case lasts about 14 months. Problem solved, but not quite, because tonight Jan was in the bathroom that isn't suppled with "product" and I heard "Honey, could you run upstairs and get me a tampon". Once again the Kotex Kid was on the move!

Stepping into the future about 10 years too late! by Jagerhead

I've been composing long, drawn out e-mails and sending them to my friends, I'm sure I've bored the shit out of most them, but to hell with that! Let's get into the blogosphere, man!

Do I know the rules? Only a few, like: all caps is FUCKING YELLING! Got that one down. Arcane references to books few have read outside of certain circles, cool. Art movie references are waaay cool,especially if they have never been distributed in the US. The coolest shit of all is to mention bands and songs nobody except 27 people in Cleveland have ever heard of.

That is not what this blog is about. This blog is about not letting life pass me by, yeah I'm getting old, but I'm not quitting! I've got the next book in the Game of Thrones series to read if that bastard George RR Martin ever finishes it! That and a bunch of other shit to do.