Monday, June 25, 2012

Research Project conducted in South Carolina

My friend Eric is economically marooned in Columbia SC. After three years of running a small cluster of radio stations, the stations have been sold and he's stuck.
Over the past few months he has been reviewing his experiences as a Boston guy living in SC. He called me today and told me after 3 years of observation, he has concluded there is no (other than color) discernible difference between a black middle aged guy named Bubba and a white middle aged guy named Bubba. Here are Eric's observations:

1. Blue collar and earn about the same money.
2. Both drive pickups, equal distribution between Ford, Chevy and Dodge
3. Both have questionable hygiene
4. Wear work jeans and Carhardt work clothes topped with baseball hats. Hard hats at work.
5. Both favor Redwing boots
6. Both live in small ranch houses or on a piece of land with a double wide trailer.
7. They eat ribs, chicken, pulled pork and drink beer chased with whiskey.
8. Their wives are over weight and they both have fathered too many kids
9. They are belligerent at their kid's sports games and both love football.
10. Both still play softball.
11. They diverge musically except they both like R&B, Motown, Ray Charles and the Allman Brothers.
12. Oh, and they both hate Mexicans.
13. All their kids are called by first and middle names.
14. They both have too many dogs.
15. They take care of their tools.
16. They fish and hunt and carry a pistol in their trucks.
17. They bitch about the same things.
18. Their ministers yell at them in church and instill huge amounts of guilt.
19. They both have bad backs and shitty health insurance.
20. Never been anywhere, except for the time they spent in the military.

Additional Observation: They nap in their pickups while their wives shop at Walmart.


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