Thursday, May 10, 2012
Don't Screw with a Guy who used to Box!
My next door nieghbor Paul is approaching his 50th and fighting it, Paul plays hockey year around and now he has taken up boxing. So much for the image of a mild mannered accountant, right?
I walked the dog a few minutes ago and Paul was climbing into his Suburban, ready for his boxing class. We had our usual chat and he asked if I had ever boxed? "Nope." was my answer. Although I did punch out a couple guys when I was a rough and ready lad. (I really pounded the shit out of a dude who tried to kick me in the jewels behind the YWCA one night when I was in high school)
I told Paul about a friend of mine, Lance Spurlock who was quite a boxer in his day. Lance grew up at the Colorado State Pen where his dad was the warden. His dad had been a boxer in the Navy during WW2 and started a boxing program for the inmates, Heavy Weight Contender Ron Lyle boxed for Lanny's old man while he was serving time. Lance's dad started him boxing with the inmates when he was in Jr High. He'd do round after round with inmates almost everyday, needless to say Lanny was pretty damn good for a blonde, blue eyed little kid boxing against men. By the time Lance was a freshman at the University of Colorado he was the SW United States middle weight Golden Gloves champion, he goes to the Nationals and ends up in the finals against a guy from Philly. The guy kicks Lanny's ass, goes pro and ends up as a ranked middle weight who lasted 12 rounds against Sugar Ray Leonard. Lance said the guy hit him so hard that he tasted metal filings in his mouth! By the 2nd round Lance said he just wanted to drop his gloves and let the bastard finish him, but he couldn't because his dad was in his corner urging him on. Lance finished the fight and lost on points. He never fought again and went back to school, flunked out and went to Viet Nam, made it back in one piece and went into radio. (?) WTF!
Flash forward to a ski weekend in Colorado in the 80's. Lance and his wife Karen and I are sitting in a bar and an asshole (about 6-5 and 250lbs) is hitting on Lance's super cute wife. Karen tells the guy to get lost and he won't take the hint. He persists and Lance finally gets up and tells the guy if he doesn't back off he is going to take him outside and beat the living shit out of him. The guy looks at Lance (late 30's, 5-10 or so and getting paunchy) and says "Let's go!"
Out the door of the bar we go, the moron tries to sucker punch Lanny and in the next 5 seconds, Lance hits the guy in the face about 30 times with high speed combinations. The big dude is flat on his back and his face looks like a package of Von's discount hamburger. The cops come, the EMTs show up. The head cop looks at Lance, looks at the big guy in the ambulance and says, "No charges, that big bastard should be ashamed of himself!"
We went back in the bar. Lance had a couple of shots of whiskey to calm himself down. Karen was pissed at Lance for making a spectacle of himself saying "Honey you could have been hurt." I counseled Karen telling her the guy shouldn't have screwed with a guy who used to box.