My Colonoscopy and Propofol

Last Wednesday I finished dinner at 8:30, I didn't eat again until Friday at 2:30. In between I drank lots of water, 4 cans of 7-Up, one cup of black coffee and a jug of Santa Cruz organic lemonade.

On Thursday at 5pm I began drinking a mixture of polyetholene glycol and electrolytes flavored with  lemon powder. I drank four liters of this mixture over the next 4 hours. Since the purging fluid was ice cold,  my body temp dropped and I felt like I was walking home from South Jr High School when it was 10 below zero. Jan and I were on the patio, she had on a cotton blouse and I had on a leather jacket and shivering. The instructions said nothing by mouth after midnight, I drank 3 glasses of water and went to bed at 11. I was exhausted from so many trips to the toilet, unbelievably I was purged and pure, empty as my gas tank in high school, all clear liquid. The aloe Tucks were a god send.

Friday at 7:30 Jan dropped me off at Kaiser Permanente in Woodland Hills. I actually felt good. With the purging over, I felt light and a bit buzzed from not eating. Considering everything, all I wanted was a cup of coffee, since I couldn't have one, I checked in early at the Gastro-Intestinal Clinic.

By 8:30 I was in my gurney/bed in a gown, socks on, reading the first book of Robert Caro's LBJ biography. I was hooked up to a blood pressure and heart monitor, I was getting a dextrose IV and listening to the lady next to me confess she hadn't finished her liquids, "Only about half." The nurse asked "is it clear?" The lady said "no, just a little", she was taken away to finish up her purge. Made me glad I followed orders.

At 9:15 I was in the examination room, the anesthesiologist, a nurse and the GI doc were all there with me. The anesthesiologist hooked the juice into my IV line, we chatted a little, I enjoyed the oxygen they were giving me. The doc asked me to roll on my left side, I did. I felt the docs hand on my left butt cheek and then then some asked "How do you feel?" I responded, "When are you going to start?" The doc said "We're finished." I said 'you're kidding, right?" The doc laughed and said, "Nope, we're done!"

I felt great, clear headed, perfectly fine. I asked the anesthesia doc, "What did you use on me?" He said  "the same stuff that killed Micheal Jackson", the room broke up, me included.

I was wheeled back to my spot, the nurse told me to relax for the next 20-30 minutes and then I could get dressed, she called Jan to pick me up, came back and told me I checked out perfectly, no cancer, no polyps, perfect plumbing. I was happy about that. She left and I passed a massive amount of gas (air) since they pump air in your intestine to open it up so the mini-cam get get a better view. The woman behind the curtain on my right did the same and we both laughed. The nurse came by and said, "let it all out, we're used to it" , more laughter. I read for 15 or 20 minutes and got dressed. I felt fine and walked across the hall to take a pee and wash my face and hands.

The nurse had me sit in a chair across the aisle from lady gas passer and her husband. They were a couple in their early 50's, both attractive looking and fit. We chatted for a bit and laughed about the massive farts. All of a sudden her doc came down the hall, closed the curtains around her bed and the three of them whispered for 5 minutes or so. He left and another 5 minutes went by, the curtains opened and the lady was dressed and sitting on the side of her bed. She looked about 10 years older, her husband helped her up and her knees buckled. The nurse helped her back into bed and they closed the curtains. At that moment my smiling wife walked in and took me by the arm and we left.

I hope she will be all right, colorectal cancer is the most common cancer in women.

Robin Gibb died yesterday from complications of colon cancer. If you haven't been tested, do it as soon as you can. My cost with my Kaiser plan and Medicare? ZERO as in no co-pay.

The procedure is nothing, the day before is unpleasant, the peace of mind worth it. If you want unpleasant have the same kind of unit take a look at your bladder, but that's another story.

In Norway, they don't use anesthesia, I guess they probably think it makes them seem weak! God damned Norskis!