Thursday, March 7, 2013

Advice for Geo

My friend George Johns writes blog post after blog post about "trying to understand women". As his long time friend, I need to intervene and say stop it!

 Geo, it's like our friend Doctor Craig once said, the only way things get better is to stop the behavior that prevents things from getting better. Georgie, I've been reading your posts about this quest of yours and let me tell you, you're getting bullshitted by the girls. (they love it, man)

Sometimes, it's better to stop asking questions of them. particularly since most of them lie to you when they answer, Actually they aren't liars, they are just playing with you. I'd guess they are either telling you what they think you want to hear or are trying to wreck your head. Don't ask anymore, just listen.

The Cakes and I have been together for 15 years, do I understand her? Not really. Do I think I ever will? Nope. Do I care? Not at all. I'll give you an example, before we go to bed at night, she always reminds me of things I need to do, or things we need to take of care together. Every night. She aways ends with a piece of advice or a question. Always, why does she do it? I don't know and after fighting it for years I just stopped, I listen, give her a kiss and open a book. I'd drive myself crazy if I tried to analyze her. If it makes her sleep better, cool with me.

Cakes was a football cheerleader all four years in high school and knows nothing about the game, zero. I'd be watching a game (usually the Pats) and she'd ask me a question about what was going on. In the beginning, I'd say shit like "you were a cheer leader and you don't know the difference between offense and defense or what an extra point is?" After years of this, she finally said, "I had my back to the field during the game, how was I to know what was going on?" Great answer. She was into cheering, not football. I get it. She was a cheerleader not a god damned player or a fan.

Here's a few truths I've learned from the days when I was single:

Most guys behave badly around women, a few women like it, the vast majority hate it.

Guys who "hit" on women are total losers. Most women hate it and know it for what it is.

What women really hate is a player. They hate players even if they are a player themselves. If guys who are players are bad, female players are always worse. What ever they say to you, they hate players, especially their peers who are players.

Everybody hates a liar, male or female.

Sex is not a mystery, women like it as much as men do. They just don't have the old sailor's attitude of "any port in a storm". I think it was Mark Hubbard who said "men are microwaves, women are ovens." Excellent advice.

Yes, the younger generation is different in attitude and behavior.

One last thing:

You comment from time to time about how I used to MARKET myself. Sorry, you took a tossed off line to heart. I learned if I was out with my friends and just sat quietly at the bar, chatting with the guy next to me or with the bartender, if I was approached by a woman or if she came and stood next to me to order a drink or started a conversation with me, she was interested in getting to know me. It worked okay for me, I probably batted .300 in those days, same attitude worked at conferences, meetings or gatherings at friend's houses. No pressure, if we liked each other, it was good, if not, no big deal.

One of the great moments of my life happened when I wasn't even thinking about women or marketing. I was standing at the bar with three life long friends of mine. A gorgeous woman was dancing with another woman, she plucked a rose out of the glass on a table, danced over and handed it to me and blew me a kiss. It was a great moment on many levels but it was a real ass kicker because it happened in front of my old friends. I talked to her after the song ended, she was beautiful but a total jerk, a female player of the highest order, but it was a movie moment for me.

I asked Jan once if I had walked over and hit on her the night we met would she have responded to me. She said, "probably not."....I'm glad I didn't because that was the last time I ever "Marketed" myself.

Good luck on your life long quest. Just take the answers you get with a huge grain of salt, old buddy.

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