I haven’t posted for a while. Not that this adventure is over, it’s because my work schedule creates scheduling problems since my only reliable day off is Thursday. (Imagine that!)
I did sit down today with Erica for an hour, my first session in a month. Her first question was, “So Robert, how are you doing?”
I told her my bouts with depression are still showing up, but they are sometimes weeks apart and not as debilitated as they were in the past, so my life is much better. I’m sleeping more and I’m not as anxious as I was. I told her that I believe I have it under control at least to the point where it’s not totally kicking my ass day in and day out.
Erica then said, “I think we need to start looking for the sources of your depression. By doing that we can find where it started and why it started.” She floated some ideas she had from her study of my records and from our conversations. She went on to say that “I might be surprised how and when the groundwork was laid for the deep hole I fell into.”
She gave me some ideas to think about and better ways to communicate my feelings to Cakes and in general communicate in a better, more openly, with not only my wife, but others too.
Plenty to think about, lots to work on. She did say that my job has given a big dose of self-esteem and she can see the physical change in me and not just how much better my attitude is too. So I did get a pat on the back today.
We meet again on the 18th. I have a ton of homework to do, we’ll see how it goes.
Self-examination isn’t for weaklings…