Friday, July 20, 2012

Mitt was just covering his (ass) bases!



When Bill Bain asked Mitt Romney to start and run a new investment division of Bain and Company, Mitt was flattered, it was a chance to run his own show and make a ton of money. But, Mitt was worried, what if it failed? Mitt would be blamed, ashamed and his career maimed. What Mitt asked for and received from Bill Bain was an agreement that he wouldn't be held accountable for any failure of the new venture and assurance he would get credit for its success. Bain gave it to him.

Fast forward to 94. Mitt has done a superb job, whether you agree with his methods or not he made his investors a shit load of money. Mitt decides to run for the Senate against Ted Kennedy. Ted is at his political nadir, he is weak in the polls, he's fat, he's drinking and looks ripe for the picking. Mitt has the support of the Massachusetts Republican party and the national organization, plus he has all the big Boston investment community and bankers and their money on his side. Mitt is young, respected and rich as hell. He comes out of the box strong and in the fall a few months before the election  he is tied with Teddy in the polls.

Ted's people get him in shape, sweat the booze out of him and Teddy goes after Romney on his record at Bain. They debate (I was there at Fanuel Hall) Kennedy just slays Mitt head to head. Mitt pours money into the campaign for the next month and a half, it didn't help. Mitt lost to Teddy 58-42. ( Kennedy's worst winning percentage in an election) He got his ass kicked and good. Mitt slinks back to Bain and continues to make tons of money for the next 7 years. The citizens of the Commonwealth forgot about Mitt. Not me, every time I drove on Route 2 to shop at Arena Farms in Concord I'd see the monstrosity of a Mormon Temple Mitt rammed through the zoning folks in Belmont and I'd think just what an entitled prick Mitt is.

When Mitt's friend's on the Salt Lake Olympic Committee got caught doling out 7 million in bribes to the International Olympic selection folks, panic struck in Salt Lake City, they needed a good solid Mormon citizen from somewhere else to get their asses covered. Mitt was their man. They called he answered. This was just what Mitt needed, he was going to "Save the Olympics", restore his reputation and get his dead political career going again. He left Boston for Salt Lake City. He gave his house to his oldest son, he bought a house in Salt Lake, he even got a Utah driver's license by all normal measures, he became a citizen of Utah.

And then.....

Oh, oh! Mitt needs to cover his ass, what if he can't save the Olympics? He'd be blamed! He can't resign from Bain, he needs to hold on to it if he fails with the Olympics. If he wins with the Olympics, he needs Bain to maintain himself as a citizen of the Commonwealth. Mitt says to himself, "Jeepers, I'll have to play both sides of the street, won't I?" Mitt plays the game, wins with his Olympic gambit and returns to Massachusetts with a big reputation. He decides to run for Governor in 2002. Poor chubby, little Momma Jane Swift the acting Governor, decides not to get herself buried by Mitt's money and drops out of the race. About this time the state elections people have a chat with Mitt. The premise is simple, you've lived in Utah for the past three years and you cannot run for Governor of Massachusetts, you ain't a citizen, pally. Mitt counters, I am too a citizen, I own Bain, I own all the stock, i sign all the paperwork, see look at the SEC stuff I signed and filed, look at the press releases, look, look, look and my wife and I have a apartment in Belmont, yes its only a couple of rooms in my old mansion, but its our home, darn it!

Mitt gets cleared to run for guv, he beats Shannon O'Brien by a couple of points. The election costs 10 million, Mitt put 6 of his own money into it. He attacked O'Brien by slamming her hubby's lobbying connection with the Enron scandal which is interesting because Ken Lay of Enron fame (is he really dead? Anybody ever see the body?) was connected by the hip to Bush and Chaney, but I digress.

Mitt is now the Governor, Massachusetts has a deficit, Mitt doesn't raise taxes he began raising every damn fee in the state from autos to zoos. Interestingly the state had three successive Republican administrations and Mitt's was the 4th in a row. (Weld-Cellucci-Swift-Romney) the piss poor financial condition of the state is on their shoulders. And don't buy the claim that Mitt balanced the budget, its a law that goes back to when the Commonwealth was a freaking English colony. Mitt governs the state for about 15 minutes and starts his presidential campaign for 2008. Mitt would jump on a plane fly to a confederate state and tell the rednecks how fucked up Massachusetts is. The teevee stations and the Globe would report his remarks, we citizens would get pissed and Mitt would blame the press. When he left office his ratings were lower than Jane Swift's and she used her staff to babysit and change her kid's diapers, not to mention using a State Police helicopter to fly she and her brood home to western Mass whenever the pressures of office got to her.

Mitt is a jerk, ask anybody who lived in Massachusetts, they'll tell you better than I can. And the Saving of the Olympics, total bullshit. We saved them with our tax dollars, all of us paid for them with more money than any Olympic games in history, 1.5 billion. Most of it in pork for Mitt's pals. Enjoy the new interchange on I-80 that makes it easier to get to Deer Valley, Mitt's buddie's ski resort, you paid for it.

Nice how Mitt's gamesmanship and ass covering is now coming back to finally bite him in the ass isn't it? or as Mitt would say, "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, that hurts!"

Maybe Mitt can tell us all about some more Red Sox games he didn't attend!

I need a shower.

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