Maries the name, retail is her game...

We needed to buy a new washer and dryer since there's just two of us, we don't need huge machines or all the bells and whistles. In today's world, every retailer has the same prices. It came down to what store could deliver the machines as soon as possible. That store was Home Depot. I could have done the entire transaction online since the store is only a couple of miles away I drove over to see and touch the machines. There I met Marie in the appliance department. Marie is a tiny older woman, jeans, t-shirt, running shoes, short gray hair and of course a Home Depot apron. Damn, she was good.

She got me the best price and knocked off another 25 bucks because we had an "up to 35% off" email.

Marie said, "Don't pay for the hookup, just buy the hose and the dryer vent, put a couple of ten-dollar bills in your pocket and ask the guys to do it for you. Slip them the cash, they get more money that way and they'll be happy to do it."

She went through the contract, highlighted the important parts and wrote in additional warranty tips.

I asked her how long she'd been working at Home Depot, "5 years but I've quit twice and come back because I'm bored. They don't like me very much, but with your purchase, (she thought for a moment) I'm now at $649,587.58, number 1 by a huge margin in this store and I'm number 2 in the entire western division of Home Depot."

"Do you get a commission?"

"Hell no, only full-timers get a piece, they couldn't afford me if I was on a commission." She laughed.

"What did you do before you worked here?"

"Port of LA, I was the only woman in the old days of IT, remember the old clunky IBM punch card systems?"

"Sure."

"That was me. The only woman working there whose job wasn't answering the damn phone. Then I reinvented myself and ran the billing department at a hospital."

3 marriages, all to younger men, 4 kids, 11 grandchildren and now 5 great-grandchildren, "The oldest is 22, so I've got a shot at being a great-great-grandmother."

Firm handshake, warm smile, it was a pleasure doing business with Marie. I'm writing a letter to Home Depot.

Rock bottom? I hope so...

While waiting for our new house we did an extended stay at Extended Stay America this summer, we met some interesting people, there was this one guy, in particular, let's just call him Mr. P.

Mr. P is (was) a sheet metal contractor, most days he would start drinking when the liquor store opened and continued on. Mr. P was (is) a decent guy with a massive drinking problem. He had no driver's license because he'd had 4 DUIs and had spent a year in jail after his 4th.

He had gotten divorced, split the proceeds of the house with his ex-wife and plenty of cash in the bank. When we met him he'd been at Extended Stay for a couple of months, he was accompanied by his dog Rocky and a geriatric cat. I didn't see much of the cat but Rocky was a great little dog, he was the clone of Eddie on Frasier. Rocky and Anze became pals.

As the weeks past, Mr. P drank more and more every day, to the point where he was slack-jawed by noon. A couple of construction guys rebuilding a Target store found him one night passed out in the parking lot with little Rocky watching over him. They helped him up and got him back to his room.

By the time we moved, we'd met his long-time friend B, another contractor who was trying to get Mr. P off the bottle and into rehab, if he started a rehab program the DMV would give him a restricted license and he could get back to work and start rebuilding his life. To this end, Mr. P bought a 5th wheel trailer, put a hitch on his Chevy pickup and was looking for a spot to park. Temporarily he parked the rig in the lot at Extended Stay. At that point, 5 weeks ago we moved into our house.

Yesterday, I had coffee with one of the guys I got to know at Extended Stay, here's what he told me happened.

A couple of homeless drunks started to sleep under Mr. P's 5th wheel, Mr. P befriended them, they started drinking together and he gave them the keys to his truck and trailer. They moved in. He also "loaned" them his debit card and his pin, party time ensued. Extended Stay got pissed and kicked him out. He moved into the trailer and was supposed to get it off the property ASAP. He had no license, one of the homeless guys volunteered to drive. Mr. P agreed and they decided it was such a great idea, that they ought to have a drink on it and did they ever.

The construction guys found Mr. P dead drunk in the lot, his wallet gone, his trailer gone, his 2-year-old Chevy pickup gone and so was little Rocky and the poor old cat.

With the help of his buddy B they tracked down the homeless drunks and got the rig back. The dirty bastards let little Rocky and the cat out and couldn't remember where. B helped Mr. P get the rig parked, got some food into him and stocked the trailer with enough food for a couple of days, put him to bed and left for work out of town.

The next day B got a call, Mr. P was in jail for his 5th DUI. He'd gotten drunk and decided to take a drive and see if he could find little Rocky and the poor cat. B got him bailed him out and he is awaiting a court date. In California, he'll go to jail again.

His dad is living alone in Michigan and has Alzheimer's, the old man is pushing 90, Mr. P will probably never see his father again. He has no relationship with his two kids or his one grandchild, his brother has washed his hands of him, the only person in his life now is his friend B.

I feel bad for him, but I feel worse for little Rocky and the poor cat.