Whitey Whiskers Kills Christmas

I only had one cat when I was a kid. My farm Grandmother Clara picked out a kitten for me when I was 4, it was my birthday present. He was a barn cat. When the kitten was weaned, she sand box trained him and handed him over. He was perfectly white and I named him Whitey Whiskers, I loved him, Mom hated him.

Whitey followed me around, Whitey slept with me.Damn I loved that cat!

On Christmas Eve, we came home to our little GI Bill house, full of family Christmas Cheer. I'm hauling in my presents. I got a lot, I was the only grand kid on both sides. Mom unlocked the door, went in. Dad and I heard a scream.

Whitey had climbed the Christmas tree, he had pulled it over, lights and bulbs smashed, water from the stand all over the floor. Mom was over the moon pissed. Dad and I exchanged uncomfortable looks, then he started to laugh and so did I, our behavior cranked Mom to 11.

"That's it the damn cat is going." Mom was in tears, Dad and I were laughing. "I've never liked cats, I hate cats, always have."

Whitey was smart, he was no where to be seen. Mom turned on me, "Do you think Santa Claus is going to come tonight? Your cat destroyed our tree and Santa doesn't have anyplace to leave your presents!" That knocked the buzz off my Christmas.

Dad and I cleaned up, Mom went to bed, she slammed the bedroom door too. Once the tree was back up, it didn't look too bad. Dad poured himself a drink, I had milk and Grandma's Christmas cookies. and Whitey stuck his head out from behind the sofa, ran over and jumped on my lap, I let him lap some of my milk.

We finally went to bed. It took Dad a while to get in the bedroom, Whitey slept on my pillow as usual.Santa did show up and things seemed fine.

Whitey went back to the farm on Christmas Day. he moved into the barn and became a top flight mouser. He was still my cat, every time I was at the farm Whitey would climb all over me. He lived a good life for a long time, probably sired 50 litters over his lifetime. He was happy doing what he was born to do.

Never had another cat, but I did get a Cocker Spaniel that spring, plenty of Dusty the Dog stories are in the memory bank. Mom liked dogs a lot more than she liked cats, that was a relief.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Birthday, Mom

My Mother would have been 88 today, as my baby Sis Kathy said earlier, "she wouldn't have been happy about it."...no she wouldn't have, not a bit.

One of the things I remember most about my Mom was how she stepped up to the task of handling every aspect of our lives when my Dad had a heart attack at 39. Dad was stricken back in the days when heart patients were told, "stay in bed and don't do anything for a year". Of course this pissed an active guy like my Dad off and he took his anger and frustration out on Mom. He wasn't violent with her but she became the wall he threw his shit at. He went from a pretty happy guy to an angry one and he was mean to Mom. She understood and never stopped loving him. What she did do was interesting, she threw herself into ceramics. Every night after things quieted down, Mom got out her green ware and scraped and smoothed and polished for hours. The entire house was asleep, I'd get up to take a pee and I'd see the lights on downstairs and there would be my Mom working on her ceramics at 2 in the morning. I'd get a glass of juice and we'd talk for a bit. Her ceramic production that year was incredible and every piece was perfect.

When I lived in Boston, Mom would come and stay with me. She loved Boston with all her heart, went to the library, the Historical Society, bookstores and coffee houses. She'd walk down to the Public Garden and feed the swans. One summer she brought my niece Suzie with her and they wore out a T-Pass.

My Mom was a reader and she had me reading before I started school. She laughed like crazy when my first grade teacher told her that when she was asking the 6 year olds if they could spell any words, I spelled "to be continued". She moved me from children's books, to serial graphics to newspapers and onto hard cover books. Thanks to Mom I was the book report champion from the 1st to 6th grade at Lincoln School. Her love affair with books lasted her entire life. Mom and I would do book discussions on the phone almost every week and we did right to the end.

She loved all of us and when we had our own kids they were loved as well and then when the great grand kids showed up there was plenty of room in her heart for them, too. My girls worshipped her and still do. She and my wife Jan had a superb relationship, I'd walk in the house and Jan would be on the phone with her. I'd walk the dog, make a drink and they'd still be talking. She told Jan, she was the best thing that ever happened to me.

My Mom was a good looking woman, one of those woman who age with grace and style. She walked into the hospital in high heels and died 4 days later. She was surrounded by her family as she drifted off. It was a gracious and good way to go. I've never been to a better funeral and one of the best things I've ever done in my life was, with the help of my nephew John, bring Mom's record player to the visitation and play her favorite music the entire time, from Glen Miller to Barbra Streisand and the Eagles. People were laughing and sharing memories of Mom, there were tears, of course. But the her overwhelming grace, charm and love filled the room. And that's as good as it gets, isn't it?

Mom is out there in the cosmos still watching over of us all.

Mom's Day

I was fortunate to have had strong women in my life, both my grandmothers, fraternal and maternal and my crabby old greatgrandma. Nanny lost her husband as a child-bride and raised her daughters on her own at a time when women didn't do that, she did and it's no wonder she was kind of crabby!

My Mom graduated from high school in 1942 and married my Dad. She was a good student, athlete and actress. Oh god, was Mom dramatic when she wanted to be! She could have and wanted to go to college, but it was WW2, she loved my Dad and wanted to marry him, so she did. It was the first of many, many acts of sacrifice she would perform during her life. Mom was a good looking woman, I always thought she was a Katherine Hepburn type, tall, thin and (again) dramatic and had classic good taste and style. Like so many young women during the war, she and two of my dad's fellow pilot trainees wives followed their young husbands from training base to training base. Mom lived close to Dad in Texas and North Carolina. The girls became life- long friends and when they got together they had an incredible amount of fun.

When Dad had his first heart attack at 37, it scared the hell out of her, but she carried him and all of us until he recovered. Dad was frustrated, angry and in pain for the next 20 years. Mom bore the brunt of it and I never knew until years later how hard it was for her and how many issues she had with Dad. My Mother was widowed at 54 and never remarried. She was, until she died, madly in love with Dad. I can only guess when they met again in the great cosmos, he got a big hug, kiss, a kick in the ass and a piece of her mind. And then many, many kisses.

Mom was a reader and she made sure I was. In later years I'd read a book, send it to her and we'd discuss it over the phone. A two person book club.

When I was single and living in Boston I'd fly Mom out for a week and she would immerse herself in the culture and energy of the city. My friends all thought she was great and it was fun to have the old girl around. During one visit, I woke up at 3am and found my mother sitting in the living room wide awake. I asked if anything was wrong, she said "no, I just can't sleep." She had spent the afternoon at Caffe Royale, sitting outside reading and had consumed 9 cups of "that wonderful coffee that comes in the little cups." Her eyes looked like pinwheels! Later Jan and I took her sailing and for a woman who always said "I don't like boats" she sure seemed happy. We'd sail for an hour or so and then Mom would go below and take a nap on the "low side". Sailing agreed with her.

Mom was an alcoholic and the thing I may proudest of is that she whipped it.

Mom died 5 years ago surrounded by her sons, daughters, sister, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

A day doesn't go by that I don't miss her.

Mid Week Dinner

Jan and I are gettng ready for bed,we both have brutal schedules so 11p is bed time here in lovely SoCal. We were reflecting on the day with a cup of tea on the patio. My Great Grandmother Alice Harris (looked like the beloved Queen Mother) would be so happy that "tay" is part of our lives as it was in hers.

I do all the cooking around this spread, today I stopped at Trader Joe's on the way home at 7p. I bought (for the first time) TJ's stuffed haddock, w/crab meat stuffing. The price, a buck ninety-nine each. I picked up a bag of fingerling potatoes, a bunch of baby bok choy and a bottle of Kim Crawford* Savignon Blanc. Food costs: $7.96, add the wine at $14 bucks. Incredible meal for 21 bucks. Even without  the wine dinner would be more than double at a decent restaurant. A nice meal on a nice night after a long day. I enjoyed it with my nice wife and nice old dog. Ah, nice is very good.

Speaking of restaurants here is Jan's place,  http://thenapatavern.com/, she doesn't own it, but it's her concept, her design and her style. She splits her time between Napa Tavern and her real job as Marketing Director of Urban Home Furniture, http://www.shopurbanhome.com/, the look of the stores, the products, the copy and of course the style is all Jan. Her boss is almost as lucky as I am. He's pretty much a dick and I'm not. Plus I sleep with her and he doesn't!

*We like Kim Crawford wine not only because its a good low-middle priced product but the minister at the Arlington Street Church we belonged to in Boston (Unitarian Universalist) was the fabulous Dr. Kim Crawford.

My Mom died 5 years ago this past week, we still miss her and for the longest time I kept her number in my phone. Everybody misses Mom. Here is one of her favorites by her fellow North Dakotan Peggy Lee. I'll write more about Mom soon,  but let it be known she was honored with one of the finest funerals in recent history, even though the ministers and the funeral director didn't quite get it.
Screw 'em....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbnA78ravpY&feature=player_detailpage

On that note, I'm going to bed and read some Ed Abbey.