Reflections on the SCOTUS decision on Gay marriage

The Cakes and I have worked with Gays and Lesbians our entire careers. I’ve worked with a Trans-gender individual as well.

Reflecting about our gay friends and associates last night while we had our evening cocktail on the porch, I thought about my Mother’s girlhood friend, who spent her entire life in the closet. A childhood friend’s older brother, a successful Doctor, married with children came out late in life. A friend and associate in radio, married to a great woman, he fathered a little girl and remained closeted until he was stricken with AIDS and died. The Gay kid I went to high school with who hung himself the day after graduation.

Then on the brighter side there’s my friend’s successful younger brother, whose partner is called “Auntie Mark” by the kids in the family. Believe me there’s a lot of good stories about good people and acceptance by families. The best thing is my children and their children don’t even “get’ why people would be upset or bothered by GLBT people.

When Cakes was an instructor in the US Airways training department, her mentor was a gay man, he later died of AIDS. Every time she speaks of him she gets tears in her eyes, he was that good of a person and a wonderful influence in her life. One of Cakes best friends in high school was a lesbian, she didn’t really know it at the time, but later she did.

I worked with one of the first women in radio sales in the country, successful, strong and started selling long before women held those jobs. Now over half of the account executives in radio are women. She was a Lesbian.

I worked with a guy who was the leading ground gainer in Massachusetts 4A high school football, he came out at 17 and his Catholic High School teammates gave him their support. I asked him what his school administrators and coaches thought, he said, “I didn’t care, I was tired of pretending to be straight, besides what were they going to do, kick me off the team? I could have gone to any school in the conference and become their worst nightmare.” A number of colleges dropped their interest in him after he came out. He is now married to a retired Navy Blue Angel pilot.

We are so happy for our friends, Bily (he says he got the other L kicked out of him) and Matt, Steve and Anthony. They are great guys, smart, interesting, funny and a delight to be around.

Years and years ago I was having an after work beer with a Gay guy I worked with and out of the blue he said, “You know what’s great about being a young gay guy?” I said, “I have no idea.” He laughed and said, “Nobody says No!”

One last thought, I hope that Gay Salem, ND farmer who tried to hug me so desperately one night in a bar and received an elbow in the ribs for his trouble, found somebody to hug and to hold him in return.

 

Redemption and Just Rewards

Growing up listening to old school Lutheran ministers berate their congregations of farmers about their sins for an hour each Sunday morning and then at the end of the sweaty, red faced and angry sermon shout, “God is Love!” I’ve often thought about the dichotomy of an angry and vengeful Old Testament God and Jesus his forgiving son. Maybe that’s been the plan along…

Consider this, we’re at a point that many Christians believe God will forgive anything as long as you confess and pledge to give up your bad behavior, ask for forgiveness and promise to do better in the future. The transgressor is immediately forgiven by his fellow believers and life moves on. Senator David Vitter of Louisiana is a perfect example of this, caught via phone records and credit card receipts using prostitutes in Washington DC, not only did Vitter get the normal services he had some special needs, he liked to be diapered and treated like a baby by the working girls. Caught red handed, he confessed, promised, asked for forgiveness from his wife and the electorate. Since then Vitter has been reelected twice and will probably be the next governor of Louisiana. Is this a true story of redemption. The story of a man who simply made some bad choices? An old friend of mine used to say, “Maybe, maybe not.” Maybe Senator Vitter just figured out a way to duck the bullet.

The list of fallen Christians is long and now we come to Josh Duggar, serial molester of underage girls, including 4 of his sisters. Confronted with his police record he finally confessed yesterday, resigned from his job at the Family Research Council and asked for forgiveness from his wife and children and his family and from his Savior. Of course Josh will be forgiven, might be hard for his sisters, but his Mom has already forgiven him and the Duggar patriarch, Jim Bob has as well. As a good Christian family, the Duggars will, with God’s help, get through this. Maybe, maybe not.

The scenario I like to imagine goes like this, these good Christians show up in heaven, expecting their reward and instead of being received in the loving arms of Jesus they are ushered into the chamber of the angry, vengeful, Old Testament God, who after ripping them from asshole to elbow, introduces them to his cohort Satan who escorts them off to their true and just reward. They join their fellow hypocritical Christians, fallen Catholic priests, Orthodox Jews who have participated in similar abuse and since the Old Testament God is the God of Abraham, the good Christians join Muslim Jihadists in their eternal toil in the fires of hell. No harps and halos, no streets of gold and no virgins.

 

War is Politics by Other Means (von Clausewitz)

 

I was born 6 weeks before the end of WWII. June of 1945. After VE Day and before the Japanese surrendered in August. There was dancing and kissing in the streets all over the world because war was over.

It wasn’t…

We had advisors and flyers and boots on the ground for the Nationalist Chinese against Mao, until the Mao beat them and the nationalists retreated to Taiwan in 1949.

After the surrender of Japan the US sent a Military advisory group to Korea in 1945. In 1950 the Korean War started. At the same time we had a Military advisory group in Vietnam to work with the French. The French lost in 1956 and Viet Nam was partitioned into North and South like Korea. At that point we upped the number of advisors and supported corrupt politicians in the south.

In the early 60’s we had the Cuban Missile Crisis, our first intervention into Lebanon, intervened in Egypt, troops in the Dominican Republic all before the Vietnam War escalated. The Vietnam War ended in 1975 after 58,000 Americans were killed and tens of thousands were wounded. Things calmed down for a few years and then in 1979 we began assisting the Afghans against the Soviet Union. We got involved in the Congo and Liberia and other African countries. In the 80’s we backed Saddam’s Iraq against the Iranians. Then sold the Iranians arms to have the “off the books money” to supply the Contras in Nicaragua. We had another disaster in Lebanon and 247 Marines were killed. We attacked Libya a few times. We invaded Grenada and backed Britain against Argentina in the Falklands War and poked around some more in South and Central America. (we’d been doing that since the end of WWII)

In the 90’s we invaded Panama, got involved in Somalia and the Balkans. And had the First Gulf War, shot down an Iranian airliner filled with families and businessmen.

At the turn of the century we invaded Afghanistan and then went to war in Iraq under false pretenses. We’re still there. And we are blowing the trumpets and beating the drums for more war.

I’m 69 years old and I’m hard pressed to come up with 5 years of my life when my country wasn’t at war, threatening war or assisting other countries in making war and I’ve almost forgotten about spending most of my life under the threat of nuclear annihilation. 

USA-USA-USA!

Thoughts from the World of “Bidness and Munny”

 

When I started my little company four years ago, I invested in a website. When the site went live, I was inundated with phone calls from media companies. In addition to local media, TV, cable, a few radio stations and the papers the most insistent companies were the on-line sales organizations. One was a local company, ValueClick based in Westlake Village. The sales people were terrible, they were scripted, they were young and couldn’t deal with or answer questions, but they pounded the phones. One would call me every other day for a couple of weeks, if I didn’t buy one of their “packages” I’d be assigned another rep and the process would repeat. About a year into the process ValueClick changed their name to Conversant. Nothing else changed. I read this morning in the business section of the LA Times, Conversant was purchased by a Dallas based marketing company, Alliance Data, for 2.3 billion dollars.

AT&T recently distributed their new local phone books. No residential listings in the book, just business and professional listings. AT&T still charges for “unpublished numbers” and they charge if you would like a published listing.

BTW,The government has a free service that keeps your number out of the hands of telemarketing companies. You can list your cell and land line numbers…FREE.

A developer (handbag magnate, Bruce Makowsky, 9 West and endless appearances on QVC) has a spec house on the market in Beverley Hills for 85 million dollars. Think about that for a minute 85 million, built on spec, built and furnished without a buyer. 23,000 square feet, it has a banked 18 seat theater, a 2500 bottle wine room, a candy bar (?) and a vodka bar. The house has a 54’ foot curved glass door overlooking the infinity pool. Housing experts say his timing couldn’t be better. Apparently today’s Global Billionaires want new, ready to go homes all over the world. Here’s another thought, in the same neighborhood a house was recently purchased for 36 million and torn down.

On Sunday there was an ad touting a special lease for a new Bentley sedan, 27 hundred and change a month plus applicable taxes, 8 thousand miles a year for three years with a $12,000 down payment.

The Wall Street Journal did a long story last week on how hard it is for a family of 4 to live on $400,000 a year.

In other news this morning…

Do you have any idea how much money those greedy school teachers pull down a year? How about the pension plans for public employees like cops and firemen. Let’s move the retirement age up to 70…blah, blah, blah…

 

Viva Las Vegas

The Executive Wife is in Las Vegas for the big Baby Show. Every day for the last two weeks she told me how much she is dreading it. 9 to 6 on the Convention Center floor in heels for 4 days, she wore flats on Saturday the ‘set-up”. I’m sure she’ll be in a really good mood when I pick her up Wednesday night at the airport.  Then she’s got another one next month in Highpoint, N. Carolina.

Thinking about Las Vegas, in SoCal we get inundated with print, on-line and television advertising for Vegas. There’s even a special advertising section in the Sunday Times on what’s happening in Las Vegas…what’s weird is that all the marketing shows 30-somethings and younger all dressed up in designer clothes having a wonderful time at the casinos. The reality is the casinos are filled with people who pretty much look like Walmart shoppers and the only designer clothing you see is in the overpriced stores in the hotels.

We were guests at a wedding in Vegas a few years ago…the minister looked like Wayne Newton and sounded like a ‘70’s era TV game show announcer. The wedding was in a decent hotel not a chapel! Hell, if you’re going to get married in Vegas at least have an Elvis look-a-like marry you…live a little.

The round trip to Vegas from LA is exciting, average left lane speed just under 90, so it takes no time at all out and back. You know when you’re close to Vegas at night when you see all the deserted housing developments without lights. You catch a glimpse of them by light of the billboards telling how much fun you’re going to have in Vegas. In the daytime you see all those nice, new houses baking in the desert sun, empty.

Looking at the billboards on the drive you start to wonder if any of the casinos have “tight” slots.

My brother asked me when we were at the above mentioned wedding “If I knew why all the strippers in Vegas look so happy?” I said “I didn’t.” He said, “It’s because they all make more money than you do.”

I used to go to Las Vegas almost every year for the broadcaster's convention. The last time we stayed at the Bellagio. It was very nice, very expensive as in 9 bucks a glass for house wine expensive. Don't even think about using the mini-bar in your room either.

It's easy to be cynical about a place as cynical as Las Vegas.

A side note,Donald Trump's casino operations are bankrupt in Atlantic City, The Riva is closed and another casino is closing in November.

A Good Bust?

The phone rang late yesterday afternoon at our little Blog Cabin in the Hills of Agoura, when the call was over, I was angry and upset in so many different ways. I was so bothered by the call, I spent 2 hours (from 2am to 4am) doing research...here's the story.

A friend of ours, Cake's mentor during her time at the Ad Agency, was arrested on "suspicion of DUI". Had she been drinking, yes. Was she over the .08 limit in California? Don't know.

Here's how it played out:

10:15pm
Friend leaves cook out a friend's house. Her two kids drive home in son's car, she came from work and has her car. Shares a bottle of wine before during and after dinner. Eats a grilled burger, baked beans and potato salad on top of cheese and crackers (before dinner) with her share of the wine. Friend has one more glass with her hostess and says good night.

10:20pm
Dark, curving suburban road in Thousand Oaks not far from her home. Friend misjudges a curve and runs over a concrete marker pylon on edge of road, minimal damage to front bumper of car. Car won't move because it's hung up on pylon. Hitting the pylon made some noise and lights go on in the neighborhood. Friend calls AAA and walks across street and talks to one of the neighbors and tells them what happened. They chat for 20 minutes. The pylon wasn't damaged and her car has less than $500 in damages. No requirement to inform police at this level in California.

11:00pm
AAA truck arrives, hooks car up and begins to lift it. TO cop shows up and stops process. Friend says what? Cop says "I need to investigate the accident scene." Cop sends AAA away. Cop starts a dialogue with our friend asking her what happened. Friend is upset, asks cop why he sent the tow truck away, she tells him she needs to get home, she has a meeting with a client at 7:30 in the morning. Friend doesn't yell or get nasty but asks questions of the cop. Asks him if he's going to give her a ticket. Another cop arrives, observes the scene and apparently calls for back up. Within minutes there are 5 cops surrounding our friend, 5 cop cars with lights flashing in the middle of this neighborhood where the minimum price of admission is well over a million dollars. people are standing in their yards watching. Cop has said nothing to our friend about drinking or why she is being detained. Cop finally asks if she has been drinking and shines a flashlight in her eyes. Friend says she had wine with dinner. Cop then turns her around and cuffs her. Does not perform road side sobriety test or ask her to blow a portable breathalyzer. Cop asks where she had dinner and drinks, friend tells him and he dispatches one of the cops to the home where she had dinner and cop interviews her hostess.

11:45pm
Handcuffed and surrounded by 4 cops asking her the same questions over and over, friend watches cops make un-authorized search of her car and purse. Cop who interviewed her hostess comes back and discusses what he found out with the first cop. Cops confer for 10 minutes. She has yet to be charged with anything and has not been given her Miranda rights. Cops don't have to give you your rights until you're charged and they have 48 hours to charge you. Until you're charged, you have no rights at all.

12:10am
Sgt. shows up at midnight marches into the circle of cops and says, "we can do this the hard way or the easy way." Friend says what are you talking about?" Cop says, "we can take you to the county jail or take you to the hospital for a blood test, either way you're going to get one." Friend says, Am I being arrested?" Sgt.says nothing and asks her the same questions for another 15 minutes while she stands in the circle of cops, 6 of them now. Leaving three cops to guard our friend, the Sgt. confers with the original cop and the cop who went to the hostess's house, this takes about ten minutes.

12:40
Friend is loaded into the backseat of a cop car and taken to local hospital for blood test. When she arrives with the original cop they are joined by two more. She is frog marched into the emergency room and taken to the lab guarded by two cops, she is not allowed to sit down, the cops do. She stands and waits for a lab tech to take her blood. While she stands, handcuffed, the cops sit and shoot the shit about the Dodgers and the NFL. She has to take a pee and asks the cops if she can, they say "No" and go back to baseball. The first cop comes in and joins the discussion, she asks again if she can go to the bathroom. "No" again. She says, "I have to go so badly that you can come to the bathroom with me or one of the women from the emergency room can." Cop says, "No." Friend is convinced they want her to piss herself.

1:30
Lab tech shows up takes the blood. Friend is frog marched back through the waiting room and put back in the cop car, she is driven to the county jail annex in Simi Valley. She is put into a holding cell still handcuffed, asks if she can go to the bathroom again is told "No." She does get to sit on a bench in the holding cell. Asks cop if she can call home and tell her kids where she is, cop says "No." comes back 5 minutes later and asks how old the kids are, she says 10 and 17, cop says nothing and walks away. Friend figures the cops just wanted to cover their asses or if the kids were younger charge her with child endangerment.

3:00am
She's told she is going to be held over night, she is un-cuffed, searched and given a jumpsuit and locked in a cell. She asks again if she is going to be charged, cop says, "depends on the result of your blood test." In the cell she finally gets to take a pee. Lays down on bunk, cries her eyes out until 7am

7:00am
She is released on her own recognizance after being charged with 'suspicion of DUI" and finally told of her rights. Cops keep her driver's license and give her  paper permit and her clothing and personal belongings back, they tell her she will have an initial court appearance in 30 days, the court will contact her. Cop now says she can make a phone call. Friend calls her kids. 10 year old daughter is crazy with worry, 17 year old says he'll stay home with sister until she gets home. Friend asks cop if they have the results of her blood test, is told "No." Asks where her car is? Cop hands her the business card of a tow lot. Cop tells her to "have a nice day".Friend takes the card, gets a cab, pays $425 dollars to get her car out of the lot. Calls her boss, tells her she is sick and won't be in.

10:00am
Gets home and comforts her daughter. Calls DUI attorney, pays $1600 deposit for his initial services.

Her attorney thinks the cops waited too long to blood test her and the result of the test will be under the limit. He also thinks they were very indecisive in the way they handled her in the beginning because they didn't feel they had solid evidence. He said they seldom do the Road Side test anymore on adults because it gets tossed because it's designed for anyone, drunk or sober to fail. The Portable Breathalyzer is generally used only on teens because it is notoriously inaccurate and is easily challenged in court. He thinks there was so much discussion between the cops at the scene was they needed to get their stories straight. Before she left his office she asked him if he thought she was treated badly, he said, 'No, what happened to you is what happens to everybody in one way or another." She said, "Really?" he added this final note, "If you were black or Hispanic they would have said you resisted arrest and then roughed you up a little just because they can. You're lucky you're a 50 year old, nicely dressed white woman driving a nice car in a nice neighborhood."

Best case scenario, case dismissed, It will cost her about 3-4,000 dollars. Worst case, conviction, total costs somewhere between 10 and 12k with the increase in insurance. Loss of license for 12 months, maybe 48 hours in jail, community service and AA meetings for a year.

Ugly huh?

CHP Punked

 

Being a cop is a tough job on the other hand it pays really well in California and the retirement is terrific. Being a cop, tough as it is doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to follow the rules. Ever since we’ve lived here I’ve bought gas and coffee at the same gas station/car wash/convenience store. They have a nice, little deli-café inside and serve my favorite Peet’s coffee. It’s a daily stop of our area Sheriffs Deputies and California Highway Patrol officers. About 5 of them are regulars and 4 of the five are good guys, one is an asshole. He is a CHP patrolman. He’s what gym operators call a “lightbulb”. His arms are huge, so are his shoulders and chest. He does nothing but upper body workouts because he has no ass and his legs are matchsticks. A lot of cops seem to favor this look.

I generally shoot the shit with the cops. We see each other all the time, know each other by name and we get along. Nobody gets along with the “lightbulb” because not only is he an asshole to civilians, he’s the same way with his fellow cops.

One morning I was waiting at the light. I saw “lightbulb” blow a red light by the skin of his ass, stop in traffic to make a left hand turn across a double yellow into the gas station, he grew impatient and hit his lights and his whooper siren to stop traffic so he could make his illegal left and pull into the gas station, he parked his cruiser and sauntered into the store to lean on the counter by the coffee maker and scowl at the customers. I came in to buy coffee and a bagel, while I was getting my coffee, I asked him if it did any good to call the special number to report traffic violations 1-800-call-aCHP. “Lightbulb” said “it depends what it is and if there is an officer in the area. What did you see?” I told him, “Red light violation, illegal left hand turn.” He asked if I got the plate number. I said, “I did, a blue plate, Official Vehicle.” I gave him the number. His face got red and he took a step toward me and said, “What are you, a fucking asshole? You better not fuck with me.” Suddenly he stepped back, picked up his coffee and walked out. I was relieved since I thought he was ready to tase me. I watched him march out without paying and then I looked around and saw a CHP Sgt. getting coffee. The Sgt. said ‘what was that all about?” I told him and he said, “Don’t worry about it. Everybody knows he’s an asshole. I’ll talk to him.”

I don’t see him at the station anymore, maybe he got transferred to another part of the district.