Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Dating and Kidz

                           The 4 Seasons Pool and Spa, Westlake Village, California.

I have a friend who lost his wife of many years to pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. Shortly after his wife died he had a by pass operation, basically he's had a couple of bad years. He is finally rounding into shape and has accepted his new life.

About 6 months ago he was driving up to Pebble Beach, got to Santa Barbara and turned around because he didn't want to go by himself. He decided to start dating again. He is now 6 months into it. He sat in my office yesterday, relaxed and tan and said "Damn, these woman have too much baggage. I offered to take a woman to the 4 Seasons Spa for lunch and whatever treatments she wanted. Whether she just wanted to lay in the sun, get a massage, a facial, what ever I didn't care." She said, " What would we do?" He told her, "What ever you want to do, I'm going to sit in the sun and take a swim, have a drink, eat lunch, you do whatever you want." She couldn't decide, so he went by himself.

My pal has a place in Pebble Beach, he offered another woman a weekend there. My pal said she asked "Would I have my own room?" He said "Hell yes, the only woman I ever slept with was my poor wife and we started dating when we were in high school, I wouldn't know what to do with another woman at this point, maybe down the road but not now. I just want somebody to hang out with." That woman was disappointed and said, "Don't you find me attractive?" Pissed at this point, he said "You have a nice face and legs, I haven't seen the rest of you yet so I have no idea."

Needless to say, his new life is not going the way he envisioned it. If anyone knows any nice, attractive, healthy, stable, 55 plus women looking for a good date with zero strings, I'll let my buddy know. He is an old bastard, ex-corporate executive, smart, fun and crusty. He drives a Cadillac CTS-V wagon and a C-6 Corvette and owns a house and two resort properties. The old bastard will probably be the best date they've ever had!

My Insurance Agent is a single Mom. Her ex is an asshole who has wiped his hands of their son. The kid is a smart, good looking little dude. He is a sophomore in high school. His girlfriend is a baby Salma Hayek. She came home after work a few days ago and found 6 fresh used Trojans in the wastebasket in her kids bedroom. She told me about it and asked what I'd do if he was my kid, I told her, "I'd congratulate him, first on his taste in girlfriends and then on his use of condoms!" She was shocked. I said, "Tanya, he is fifteen, he's crossed the line into to having hot monkey sex, who the hell is ever going to stop him? Just tell him to keep on being very careful." I walked away thinking, "6 times in a day, wow that's so far in my past I can barely run the video in  my head anymore!"

I'm going to bed. Wow, 6 times! Wonder if The Cakes is awake?


  1. A solid relationship and health is a double blessing isn't it?
    As for the kid, well, wow indeed!

  2. Two good ones Bobby, The old bastard might take a shot at under 55 they know what they want.
    On story number 2 I'm with Tom, Wow! Except for one thing Cami (-: geo