I'm the guy behind...

Hi, I'm the guy behind you in the checkout line at WalMart. You don't know it but I have a gun under my shirt, it's a 9mm Glock with a SMG 17 round magazine, I have 2 more in the pocket of my camo pants and 5 others in my car out in the lot.

I also have an Armalite AR 15 in the trunk of my car, it's locked and loaded with a Magpul Pmag AK-74 5.45x39mm 30-Round Magazine. I have 10 other 30 round mags in the trunk too. Just in case anything happens here at WalMart you'll know that I should be able to take care of any trouble with my supply of 466 rounds of ammo

I recently had bump stocks installed on all my AR 15s. I have three more at home, one in the closet in the front hall, one next to my chair in front of the TV and one next to my bed, not to mention the Sig Sauer 9mm I have under my pillow, just in case. I also have an old Colt Python in the kitchen spice cabinet and a .357 Magnum long barrel in the junk drawer. A guy never knows when he just might need to get his hands on self protection, in this day age one just doesn't know.

You might be wondering why I walk with a limp, it's an easy explanation, I was cleaning my Glock one night while watching TV and darn it, it was loaded, lucky I always keep the barrel pointing down just like the NRA suggests. Lucky too that I live on the ground floor of my apartment complex. After I got out of the ER I had to stop and get a bag of Sakrete to repair the concrete floor. I found a nice throw rug to cover the hole, blood and powder burns in the carpet. I'm a resourceful guy.Pissed me off that I ruined a brand new pair of tactical boots too.

I bet you like movies, don't you? My latest favorite is "American Sniper" I'm pulling overtime shifts at the warehouse and driving Uber to save enough money to buy a Barrett 50 caliber with a scope, they sure are expensive, about 12k with the scope I want. And man that 50 caliber ammo is expensive! Worth every penny though, because you never know what's going to happen or when you'll need it do you?

You look like my kind of girl, if I wasn't so shy, I'd talk to you, but for now, it's just good enough that I'm just here ready to protect you. Hey, keep an eye on that Muslim looking couple over there. I don't trust them, not a bit.

Wait! What did you just say to me about standing too close to you? Did you say I'm breathing on you? You bitch, you're just like all the rest, you're lucky I don't....