Saturday, September 29, 2018

"sittin, drinkin, superficial thinkin"...


I'm the son of an alcoholic and the grandson of an alcoholic. Believe me, it was a shitty way to grow up. They both went to rehab, they both "slipped" from time to time after rehab. But, they both took charge of their lives and got much, much better.

Experiencing that and the turmoil it causes in a family, I do drink and have drank to excess over the years. I believe alcoholism is a disease and I don't have it. I've given myself every opportunity to succumb to the disease and haven't. I've worked with people and had friends who have. I've participated in interventions and driven people to rehab centers and some times it's worked and other times it hasn't.

I've been to the classes for Adult Children of Alcoholics, spent a week with my Mom during her rehab during "Family Week". Our family and others went to classes in the morning and participated in group therapy with our patients in the afternoon. I heard some incredible stories and heard a lot of bullshit too. One guy denied he was an alcoholic because he only had one drink a day, his wife said, "That's right, 16 ounces of Jack Daniels over ice."

I've experienced one "black out". I was in college, a woman I was dating told me she might, be pregnant, she wasn't sure, but...

A friend of my father owned a bar, I had just turned 21. It was the middle of the afternoon, I ordered a beer and told him what was going on. He said, "A man's problem calls for a man's drink and poured me a stiff whiskey and many more. I woke up the next morning on the floor by my bed. I had no recollection of how long I'd stayed at Kenny's bar or how I'd gotten home. I looked out the window down to the parking lot. My car was sitting there with the driver's door open. Luckily it didn't have a scratch on it . I didn't either. I did have a terrible hang over, but I made it to my summer job and suffered through the day.

The drinkers in my family drank to escape their demons, when they were sober the demons were still with them. Drinking doesn't ever make things better, it doesn't work that way.

Over the years, when I've had a problem to confront on a personal or professional level I don't drink. I asked a friend who is a practicing psychologist about this, over drinks, by the way. He said, "You're refusing to look for an escape from what ever is staring you in the face and that's a good thing."

I drink when I'm in a good mood, sure I've gotten belligerent and mouthy, but I'm like that when I'm sober.

I have the alcoholic genes, somehow they haven't connected for me like they did for Mom and Grandpa and I'm grateful for that

I'm speaking, not preaching, but when I watched Bret Kavanaugh act out during the hearing the other day, what I saw was behavior and an attitude that I'm all too familiar with It's called denial. I've seen it so many times in my life, I've experienced first hand.

When Senator Klobuchar asked the judge whether he'd ever blacked out?,

He shouted back at her, "Have you?" Senator Klobuchar is the daughter of an alcoholic, I doubt if she was surprised at his at his response. It was a classic denial technique from an alcoholic.

I remember sitting with my drunken Mom and her saying, "Well you drink too."

One of the AA classics is "Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink." Watch the replay, Kavanaugh hit that note and others. He ran the table with every one of the symptoms of alcoholism.

He's got the disease and by the look on his wife's face during his performance, she knows it all too well.


2 comments:

  1. Bob-Thanks for your honest and powerful reflection. I'm forwarding this post to many others.

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  2. I had a couple of drinks last night, then watched "Murphy Brown". Watched it again today and found I could remember about half of it. Maybe I had more than a couple of drinks.

    ReplyDelete