Sean the Janitor

 I was in my office around 6:30 clearing up some paperwork. Our janitor, an Irish mug named Sean, burst in the door with his vacuum and a pocketful of dirty rags. Sean was always in a hurry.
"Lift your legs so I can get in the kneehole." I spun around in my chair and he made a couple of half-assed passes under my desk. He grabbed a rag, dusted the window sill. He stopped and said, "Ya know, I shoulda stayed in the fooking Merchant Marine."

"I didn't know you were in the Merchant Marine."
"I was an able-bodied seaman, I loved it."
"Why'd you quit?"
"My old lady wouldn't put up with it. I was gone all the time. I'm tellin' ya Bobby, it was the life. Nothing like this cleanin' bullshit. Food was good, Nice, warm place to sleep, hanging around witha buncha good fellas. It was the life, I'm tellin ya. Name a spot on the earth and I've been there."
"Hong Kong."
"More times than I can count."
"Rio de Janeiro?"
"Been there for the god damned Carnival, now that's one hell of a show. I got dragged into the parade by a six-foot-four woman, thought she was gonna break me in half."
"Jesus."
"He had nothin to with it."
Sean sat down, I'd never seen him sit down, ever. He leaned across the desk, "See me fookin' eye, Bobby?"
"Uh huh, it's cock-eyed, what happened?"

Sean smiled, "We was unloading the ship in Port Saud there in Egypt. Some of my shipmates and me went into town to eat, drink and see a show or two. One of them belly dancers took a shine ta me and took me home with her. Ah she was a beauty, golden brown skin, shiny black hair and the most beautiful eyes ya could ever see. I never experienced nothing like her in my life. I'm telling ya, I didn't wanta leave. The woman didn't give me a moment's rest for 2 days.
"Holy shit!"
"That's right. I got back to the ship and I was shaving and I noticed me eye was fooked up, been like that ever since."
"Can you get it fixed?"
"Sure, but I like it like cock-eyed."
"Why?"
"Every time I see it, it reminds of the two best fooking days of me life."